Dice Monkeys

Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

These are things said during our gaming sessions over the years. No offense is intended, and some of these are kind of risque. Our group has managed to turn Rolemaster into Pornmaster.:)

1. “Tell the priest to probe deeper. “– Ken during a Bureau 13 game
2. “25 does not go into 5. “– Dawn during a Rolemaster gaming dividing treasure.
3. “I am looking for locks on the bamboo curtain. “– Bri during a Rolemaster game.
4. “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. “– Morrigan T to Kashin during a Rolemaster game.
5. “You were blessed by the Gods of failure.” — Bri to Chris same game and after watching Chris fumble 5 times in a row.
6. “As far as being a wizard, you make a great fighter. “– Bri to Tim during a Rolemaster game after he fumbled and his spell blew up in his face, not once, but TWICE.
7. “What is it with you people spraying my character with body fluids??” — Jeff to the group after the 10th time of his character Garron getting sprayed with some type of body fluids that session.
8. “I can’t take her with us?  Fine, then I am going to kill her.  IF I CAN’T HAVE HER NO ONE CAN!” — Emma J during a Fringeworthy game after being told she could not take the flavor text old lady sitting on her porch feeding her chicken with us.
9. *Arm thrust in the air excitedly*  “I KICK ASS!! DINAE!!” — Emma J during a Rolemaster session when she finally rolled a major crit.
10. Dice Monkey–  “Bri what are you doing??”  Bri– “I am turning him into a bike rack.”  Dice Monkey– “You are turning the Orcan commander into a bike rack???!!”   Bri — “Yeah, for his soldiers to enjoy…”  — Pornmaster night… Mithrellas tied up the Orcan commander in the bike rack position, bent him leaning over a hitching post with his pants down around his ankles.  YOU DO THE MATH!

These are Copyright © Jolly Blackburn to my knowledge
and are only added to this site to spread the joy of
KODT.

APPLE CORE: Let’s pretend like we are leaving peacefully. Then we
come back and settle the score.

AZTEC SURPRISE: Magic Users, throw some tactical spells on the
situation.

BORROW AN ERASER: The GM is screwing us on experience points.
Let’s trash this adventure.

BATHROOM BREAK: Someone do something to get the GM away from the
table so we can sneak a look at his notes!

BLACK FRISBEE: I’m blind and about to fire or throw a projectile.
Take cover!

BLACK GUARD: Steal the GM’s dice after the game and bring them down
to Weird Pete’s for testing. (Often used when the GM starts rolling
in excess of five crits a session.)

BLACK JELLY BEAN: We need a distraction. Flip the table and
commence brawling.

BLUE DIAMOND WRAP: Let’s ditch the new player and resume the game
later.

BRING ME YER BEST WINE: Let’s start a braawl in the tavern!

BUTTERMILK 5: On my command we waste this monster/NPC by attacking
simultaneously.

CATCH COLD: Agree to an NPC’s demands in order to the advantage and
backstab him later.

CHERRY DELIGHT: I’ll douse this guy with oil. Somebody else set him
ablaze.

CHILI BURRITO: I’m gonna throw a fireball down the next hallway so
hang back.

CHILI CHEESE BURRITO: Push that worthless NPC into the hallway
too.

CHOSEN ONE: Potential fireball backlash alert! Outta the way!
You’ve been forewarned.

DAMAGED GOODS: We’re taking too much damage. Run away.

DISK SPACE: I’m running a statistical analysis on our tactical
options on my laptop. Stall the GM until I get the results.

FINGERNAIL: Kill all available NPCs for XP.

FOURTY TWO: We’re about to learn the meaning of life, in othe words
we’re dealing with a killer GM. Watch your ass!

GREEN BELL: Distract the enemy so that the thief can backstab
him.

HAIRCUT: A warning to the rest of the party by one of the party who
has entered a room ahead of the rest that they need to duck when
they come into the room, or risk losing a few inches in
height.

IS THAT ALL HE”S GOT?: I’m almost out of hit points! Some one toss
me some healing juice.

I SEE YOUR POINT: That counter offer was unacceptable.
Attack!

I THINK I NEED A BIGGER BOX: I wanna catch this guy. He’ll make a
fine henchman.

I’M FEELING MUCH BETTER TODAY: My character’s alignment has been
changed (typically to Chaotic Evil), or my character has been
possessed, or my character is really a doppelganger. A warning to
other players that you are no longer in control of your
character.

JET-LI: Go ballastic, nutso. Kill everything.

KIND HEARTED FOOL: It just got personal. Let’s string up the GM by
his ankles and duct tape his mouth shut.

KUDOS ON THE ADVENTURE, (GM’s name): Hey guys, I think I’ve found a
way to bust this adventure. I’ll leave a message in the bathroom
explaining the details.

LET’S BE NICE TO HIM: This guy has information. Torch to the
groin.

MAGIC MAN: At the city gate, let the bard do the talking.

MORE SODA ANYONE?: Is it just me or is the GM up to
something?

MORE LIGHT: Use torture in the interogation.

NON DAIRY CREAMER: Check all livestock in the area for magical
powers.

PAPER CUP: We’ve got the GM where we want him, but not for long.
Keep the heat on.

PARLEY: Stall til we can get healed, gain an advantage, etc.

PASS THE POTATO CHIPS: Let the NPC’s go in to deal with these
monsters/NPCs and wear them down. Then we’ll go in and mop up and
gather the spoils.

PIG IN A BLANKET: Cover the spellcasterso he has time to finish the
incantation and cast a spell.

PINK FROSTING: Make an excuse to leave the table. We need to
huddle.

POSTAL SERVICE: The GM seems mad. Maybe if we go easy onhim we’ll
get loads of treasure/XPs/etc.

PRICKLY HEAT: Get the oil flasksout and be ready to lite and throw
‘em.

PULL MY FINGER: Thief! Do your thing. We’ll cover you.

PURPLE CAT: Help me steal that magic item and kill the owner.

RED SUNSET (#): Scatter to the four winds! We’ll meet back in the
number of days indicated at our base of operations.

REMEDIAL TRAINING: This player character is annoying as hell. Let’s
WASTE him to teach this player a lesson.

SCHOOL’S OUT: Just agree to anything this guy says. As soon as he’s
finished talking, we kill him.

SNAPPLE WHIP: Somebody block the door so the GM can’t get away.
Then we go for him.

SPAZ THE DUCK: Accidentally knock over the GM’s screen so we can
verify those die results.

SPICY SALSA: I’m wastingthe next NPC who mouths off to me…uh, be
ready to back me up.

SWANKY PAD: Let’s torch this place.

SOUP’S ON: Used by a player who’s character is seperated from the
party and isn’t allowed to convey any information. This phrase
warns the group of imminent danger.

STONE COLD: Argue amongst ourselves in order to stall the GM from
making a call or taking further action against the group.

TAKE THE JUNKER FOR A RIDE: Time to ditch the GM’s adventure plan
and have some fun.

TAKING OUT THE TRASH: A form of gamer-style justice reserved for
those who have brought harm or dishonor to a group or one of its
members.

TALK TO ME: I’m “THIS” close to making next level. We need to stir
up some easy experience points.

TIGER, TIGER, BURNING BRIGHT: Cast a fireball- NOW! Screw the
backlash. We need to take this bad boy out.

THROW RUG: A warning to the rest of the party by one of the party
who has entered a room ahead of the rest that there is a pit trap
in the room.

THROW TINDER ON THE FIRE: Get ready to throw the hirelings for
cannon fodder.

TWISTED TOPPINGS: Order and hide a pizza from the GM.

This is not the only way to do this, but this is the system we use
to convert DND characters over to Rolemaster. We find it works out
easier and quickly gets a character ready to start his or her
career in Rolemaster. In RM we always reroll anything under 66 and
in ADnD we reroll ones.

Converting the Numbers:

If your ADnD Stat is:	Your RM Temp Stat Is:
20 +	102
19	101
18	100
17	99
16	98
15	97
14	95
13	94
12	93
11	92
10	90
9	86
8	84
7	80
6	78
5	76
4	72
3	70
2	66
1	65

Converting Stats:

RM Stat	ADnD Stat	Formula
Con	Con	None
Agility	Dex and Strength	Dex+STR/2
SD	Wis	None
ME	WIS and INT	WIS+WIS+INT/3
RE	Wis and INT	WIS+INT/2
ST	ST	None
QU	Dex	None
PR	CHZ	None
IN	WIS and INT	WIS+INT/2
EM	INT and CHR	INT+CHR/2

How to use this chart:

One stat conversion:
Your character has a strength in ADND of 17. The conversion to RM
stat would be 17 = a temp stat of 99. The RM stat for your strength
is now 99.

Two stat conversion:
Your character needs to have an Reasoning stat in RM. Your
character has an ADnD stat of 12 for Wisdom and 10 for
Intellegence. The formula would be:
the 12 is a percentile of 93, the 10 becomes a 90. To get your new
reasoning stat, you would do: 93 + 90 = 183 / 2= 91.5 rounded up to
92. Your new temp stat for Reasoning is a 92.

Three stat conversion: Your character needs to have a Memory stat
in RM. Your character currently has a 12 in WIS and a 10 in INT.
The formula would be: a DND 12 converts to a 93 to RM, and a 10
becomes a 90. You would do this formula: 93 + 93 + 90 = 276 / 3 =
92. Your Temp RM Stat for Memory is 92.

Next step is to apply bonuses to your new stats from Character Law
or Campaign 1.

Changing over skills:

This is probably the easiest and most time consuming step.
Basically, you look at the skills your DND character has and match
the up with the same or ones equivelent to the skill. If you have 7
levels of tracking in DND, you put down 7 levels of tracking on
your RM skill sheet.
If there are skills you have in DND that you need to add as a skill
in RM, you can easily look up a similar skill and find what stats
it uses for RM.

For instance: you have the DND skill Blade Singing. To convert it
in RM, you write down Blade singing. Since it falls under the sword
weaps category, you would use ST/ST/AG for the stat modfiers.

If you have Bowyer as a skill in ADND, you would look at the skill
closest to it in RM. Write down Bowyer in one of the blank spaces
and use AG/SD as in the fletching skill in RM. Both involve the
creation of Bows and their parts so they would have the same
stats.

We have already had to convert a few DND skills for use with RM and
have the stats already assigned. If you would like to use them,
please look in the RM section under homebrewed rules, converted
skills. If you have any questions about how to use this conversion,
please drop us an email.

Copyright © Fantasy Net; for the Dice Monkeys RPG Group.